Hello lovely people,
marmalade & me is the weekly newsletter I’d be excited to welcome into my own inbox. ♡ I’m a 54 year old soon-to-be divorcée, so you’re in the right place if you are looking to reimagine some or all of your life and you enjoy thought and strategies delivered with vulnerability, honesty and hope.
I’ll be sharing some of the things that I’m doing as I tweak, enhance and evolve my life. From dating to fashion; from friends to the menopause; from physical health to mental health; from the books I’m devouring to embracing my silver hair; from things I’m loving to the stuff that fills me with rage! There will always be some food content woven into my thoughts but also so much more…
My name is Rachel - lovely to meet you ♡
I grew up in the UK and have spent the last 16 years living in Dubai, where the sun shines pretty much all year round but for 4 months of the year popping outside is like sticking your head into a roasting oven! There are now 4 of us in our family and we’re spread across the globe - #1 and #2 sons are in the US (one has graduated and is now in his first grown-up job, the other is in his final year at university) and here in Dubai there's me and my fantastic daughter, Hella.
Life seemed to be ticking along nicely until the perfect storm; the end of my 25 year marriage coinciding with my boys leaving home for university in the US - that qualifies me as an empty nester in every sense. So here I am, on the brink of a whole new world, realising that I have the chance to re-imagine EVERYTHING as I stride boldly, creep timidly, step into my next chapter - part terrifying, part exciting. Today the scores on the doors are 80% terrifying, 20% exciting, but stay tuned to see that this can move from day to day and in both directions.
I know for sure that I don’t have all the answers to reimagining my life at 53. I won’t always navigate this journey without stress and drama, but what I am certain of is that I’m not the only mid-life woman finding herself starting again, when for a while she felt like she might have been close to having it all sorted.
I’m annoyed that I can no longer see anything without reading glasses – The low point was discovering that I couldn’t even open the correct door on my Advent calendar unassisted!
I love strength training – It’s taken me 50+ years to find the exercise that best suits me and now I’m a devotee of lifting weights. Why do I love it so much? I can exercise at home as well as at the gym; I can incorporate cardio and strength; it’s a fantastic return on time invested and I’m stronger and fitter than I’ve ever been before.
I really appreciate great coffee – There’s sorcery involved in the journey from the coffee bean to your cup of deliciousness. I love the ritual of it too – having a favourite mug, choosing a spot to sit and taking a moment.
I’m embracing my silver hair – I started to go grey a couple of decades ago and I’ve been colouring my hair ever since. During the first lockdown, I began to play with the idea of going natural and was soon totally committed. God, I love my silver hair and honestly wish I’d done it years ago. And if you are thinking about ditching the dye, my advice would be, ‘you’ll know when the time is right’.
I listen to loads of audiobooks and podcasts – When I’m driving, walking and exercising I consume a lot of books and podcasts. It’s my time to escape and also to educate myself. Some of it is heavy; lots of it is just fun. Balance.
My plan is to document my journey of reinvention as I go, but something that a friend said the other day made me realise that first, there is an important point to be made. I have been through some dark times of feeling alone and helpless; crying in the shower, crying in the car, crying in the gym, crying in the Apple store. I have wrestled with sleepless nights, weight loss and panic attacks but throughout those miserable months, I slowly started making small steps forward and shifting my focus away from sadness and towards building a new life.
‘You are always so positive’ was how my friend opened our recent conversation before she started to explain how she was struggling through her own difficult times and wondering how she might remain upbeat. And here’s the point that I made to her and that I want to make to you; this positive person that you see before you has also been afraid and vulnerable; cynical and angry but in the past two years I’ve done a lot of work, loads of processing, tonnes of deep conversation and tried a stack of new things to get me to the place where I stand today. Please don’t think that I have any kind of magic resilience or exceptional superpower - navigating one of life’s perfect storms takes energy, effort, guts and great friends, but it also takes time; sometimes a long time. And the journey does continue; there are still bad days and periods of struggle but they are less frequent and bouncing back is faster.
I will be respectful to everyone involved in terms of what I share here, but there will be enough vulnerability to make it personal and (I hope) enough for you to find something useful or helpful to take into your own experiences whatever they may be. And my friend’s observation was spot on; there will always be an upbeat emphasis from me because positivity is a huge part of who I am. ♡
For the last 10 + years, I’ve been writing about food in a light and accessible way and if you fancy a catch-up, you can meander through my back catalogue of stories and recipes at marmaladeandme.com to hear the story so far. And by the way, if you fancy a real catch-up where I reply and we have an actual conversation, you can always email me at rachelpage@substack.com.
I plan to now broaden the scope of my writing beyond food and into ‘a life reimagined’ and I hope you will buckle up and join me for the ride. I can promise that I will tackle a range of topics but I will always come at them from a place of optimism and curiosity so that we can all maybe learn something, definitely share the load and hopefully smile along the way.
You won’t have to worry about missing anything. Every week, a new edition of the newsletter goes directly to your inbox, so you can easily stay up-to-date. And every post lives here on this platform in case you want to find it later. I love that!
For around £1.50 per week, you get access to EVERYTHING – every week a newsletter will land in your inbox + you can access all the archives + you can comment on what you’ve read + you can join in the conversations on the App + there will be extra bonus content as I work out what it is that you enjoy the most (and of course, I will only know that if you tell me!).
Here's what one of my current subscribers said about my newsletters –
Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us all. Your emails are the equivalent of the lovely handwritten letter landing on the mat amongst all those bills and junk mail.....the joy in amongst the everyday; so thank you, thank you, thank you!
Just to say, I really want to make this work. I’d love us to create a helpful and welcoming community of women routing for each other where I can start conversations rather than broadcasting into an echoey void.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over these rocky past few years, it’s that you never know where you will meet your next great friend and you never know what one single piece of wisdom might be just what you need to hear and share.
Do hang around, let’s see if we can create something marvellous. ♡
And, in the spirit of sharing, I would be so grateful if you could also spread the word and share what you’ve found here with your nearest and dearest (+ in fact anyone who you think might be even a tiny bit interested) – the SHARE button below makes it really easy.
One day, I will buy you a gorgeous coffee to say thanks but until then, I’ll send huge virtual gratitude through the ether. You really are the BEST. ♡
Lots of love,
